Fake Gamer Girls

I heard the term “fake gamer girls” for the first time about two years ago, and largely blew it off as some jerk who didn't know what he was talking about. I mean, half the people I work with in the Tabletop RPG industry are women, and none of them seem "fake" to me. But then I heard the term again... and again. Pretty soon, no matter where I turned in the geek community, I was listening to people talk about “fake gamer girls”.

I've been playing roleplaying games since I was ten years old and went to a Star Wars game using the old West End Games d6 rules. But the fact is, I've been a gamer my entire life. From the moment I picked up a doll and started playing with it, I was a gamer. We all are. Human love games. And toys. And shiny things. It's just part of what we are.

So the concept that a girl “is not really being a gamer” is totally alien to me. When we've run the vendor's table at PacifiCon and ConQuest we've met lots of women, and it's pretty clear they were all gamers, and girls, and not fake at all. And we've had females in our games from the age of 9, all the way up into their seventies, all of them enjoying the games.

A “fake gamer girl” is supposedly a woman who isn't actually interested in gaming, but likes the attention she gets from hanging out in gamer social circles. I've met a couple people like this, but they've been of both genders, not just female. And while it can be frustrating if the person is being disruptive, if they're just observing or even contributing to the play, they can be just as fun to be around as the “true gamers”.

But to be rude to total strangers and assume that they can't be a gamer just because of how they look? That's getting into the realm of bullying. I connected with my fellow gamers because they understood how it felt to be an outsider; to be bullied. So to turn around and torment someone because they don't fit in? It's so many shades of hypocrisy it makes me kinda ill.

There are plenty of people who join hobbies because it's the cool or trendy thing to do. That's just part of being human. We want to fit in. But by trying to create this illusion that playing games makes us part of some elite club, we drive people away from our hobby. We should be creating a place where people can come to be themselves, and not press our values onto them and make them behave the way we do.

So, to all the gamers out there, let's keep it real, and the next time a girl shows up at a roleplaying game, or at a convention in cosplay, or logs on to a MMORPG (or whatever), remember, she's here to play the game just like you.

Because playing is what makes us gamers.

[reposted from Savagemojo.com]